Today at lunch Josh looked at me and said “Mom, the food that you make is good.” Well played, boy. He may have just bought himself another fourteen years of meals.
Me: The boys are annoying me so bad tonight… I wish we could just ship them off somewhere. Dave: Like Amazon Prime… in reverse. Dave: Maybe a drone could pick them up. Me: Now you’re talking.
*Me mumbling under my breath about some driver on the road* Josh: “Mom, what did you say?” Me: “Oh, I was just telling some driver to drive better.” Him: “You need to speak louder so I can hear you.” #accountabilitysucks
Stop. Stop right now. Just stop searching for the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe because here it is. It may actually be the answer to life, at least for a brief second as you break apart a warm, perfectly textured cookie with chocolate treasures of goodness. And you eat one, two, four, eight…. oh, who’s […]
She looked at me and tapped her teeth with her fingernails. That was her tell. I was sitting on her right and she was partnered with Will. Another day, another epic game of 42 was underway. We were out for blood. Papa- well, you would know he had something good because he started gloating four […]
Sam: “Mom, can I have the roast beef over there?” Me: ??????????? Me: “Roast beef? Son, we don’t have any roast beef.” *I follow his pointed finger* Me: “Oh…. the frisbee!” Him: “Yes, the roast beef.”
After a few years of parenting boys, I can conclusively say that the statement “Please stop making noise” is on par with “The moon is made of green cheese” or “Pigs fly” or my personal favorite up until two years ago, “When the Chicago Cubs win the Word Series.”