At Costco today I roll up to the food court register: “Hi. I’d like one smoothie in 3 cups.” *Employee managing the register looks up from the register and raises eyebrows* Him: “Excuse Me?” Me: “I’d like one smoothie in 3 cups.” *I glance back at the three boys in the shopping cart then level […]
I just killed a nasty little mosquito that had been biting everyone upstairs. The way we all rejoiced you would have thought we won the Super Bowl and I was the starting quarterback. I love being a mom of boys.
Sam comes downstairs. Sam: “Mom, I don’t like Joshy.” Me: “Oh yeah?” Him: “Yeah, he’s just bothering me.” *I look down. Sam is twirling a handheld mixer beater in TJs hair.* Me: “Do you think you’re bothering TJ?” Him: “No.” Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…. the human condition.
Man, you’d think the dinner plate was a crime scene tonight with the amount of ketchup it took to force down the delicious balsamic roasted vegetables and hamburger patty. Call the whaaaambulance.
So both older boys (3 & 4) unequivocally informed me that I had not packed them enough lunch. Me: “Are you serious? I packed you whole sandwiches piled high with turkey and cheese, two kiwis each and a big slice of cake. You’re telling me that’s not enough for you?” *they solemnly shake their heads* […]