August 29, 2019 at 12:00 PM

*Sam throwing a fit in front of the preschool because I’m making him be responsible for carrying his stuff to the car*
Sam: MOM I DON’T LIKE THIS DAY AND I DON’T LIKE YOU FOR NOT CARRYING MY STUFF!!!!!
Me: You’re a big boy and big boys need to be responsible for their own stuff. I still carry a lot of TJs things because he’s still learning.
Him: *seething silence*
Me: *tearing up* I kind of wish I still carried your stuff because that means I can keep you a baby forever…
Him: MOM!!!! THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!!!!!
My son, the oracle. None of this parenting thing makes any sense.

August 15, 2019 at 12:00 PM

If you’ve never walked through Target with a two-year-old pointing a toilet plunger at everyone he sees and screaming “pew-pew!,” then you should. Because if not, you’re missing out.
Also, when critical meltdown was about to happen at the register, the nice lady gave us a bunch of stickers that kept us busy for the 60 seconds it took me to run my card.

August 6, 2019 at 12:00 PM

Last night, two-year-old was throwing a fit about wanting to rummage through the refrigerator and basically stand there with the door open, staring at it like an adult with the munchies. I put the kibosh on it and closed the door. He freaked out and tried to open it again. I was in the middle of making dinner for everyone but I stopped to hold the refrigerator door closed.