Sammy calls them “footmunks.” I told him they were called chipmunks. Now he calls them chipmunks. Something in me just died. I think I will call them footmunks forever. Also, I’m never correcting their speech ever again.
“Hey mom– I don’t want vegetables in my meat sauce, I just want meat in my sauce.” Oh… I see how it is. He thinks he’s so smart. But he hasn’t seemed to notice I’m still dressing he and his brother alike ANY CHANCE I GET!!!!!!! *Cue evil villain music*
*person rides by on bicycle* Sam: (screams loudly) MOM!!! THAT MAN IS RIDING HIS BICYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET!!!! Sorry dude. You brought down that fire upon yourself. #judgementday
*Sam delicately cups a little moth* Me: watcha got there? Sam: I got a moth. Me: Oh cute. But it’s time to get in the car. Time to let the moth go. *He drops it on the ground and it crawls around, dazed from its latest imprisonment* > ***** Me: SAM WHY DID YOU JUST […]
Yesterday I made a grievous and critical miscalculation in the parenting game. I told my four year old (who has sketchy understanding of time, at best) that I signed him up to play fall baseball. Now, every single day I will go through the exact same routine: Josh: “Mom, is it time to play baseball […]
Josh to Sam: “You keep an eye on TJ while I go get some stuff.” Keep in mind, Sam is two.
All may not be well in the house when I step out of the shower and hear “SHHH – SHE’S COMING!!!!”
Today at lunch Josh looked at me and said “Mom, the food that you make is good.” Well played, boy. He may have just bought himself another fourteen years of meals.
*Me mumbling under my breath about some driver on the road* Josh: “Mom, what did you say?” Me: “Oh, I was just telling some driver to drive better.” Him: “You need to speak louder so I can hear you.” #accountabilitysucks
Sam: “Mom, can I have the roast beef over there?” Me: ??????????? Me: “Roast beef? Son, we don’t have any roast beef.” *I follow his pointed finger* Me: “Oh…. the frisbee!” Him: “Yes, the roast beef.”